An End In Sight

3 more days and I am done with Radiation Therapy.  6 weeks of going to the hospital, Monday through Friday, is exhausting.  I know that sounds ridiculous but when coupled with chemotherapy, it takes every bit of energy I have each day to go.

I've been quite lucky for 6  weeks that I haven't had any effects from the radiation but that seemed to change this week.  I'm having a hard time swallowing as the radiation has done some damage to my esophagus.  They tell me the damage is inflammation and will repair itself within a few months of ending the therapy.

After that horrible 2 weeks I had, this week I am feeling really good.  I hope I don't jinx myself by saying that.  I still have fatigue.  It is so weird to feel soooooo tired by not be able to fall asleep.  I'm back to being awake half the night but I'm not complaining as I feel really good during the day. 

2 more chemotherapy sessions (6/22 and 6/29) then I get the entire month of July off.  Chemotherapy will resume August 1.  I still have to go for weekly bloodwork during July and the 3 doctors and myself will discuss what drugs we will do for the next rounds.  As long as it not that Taxol that messed me up so bad, I don't care what they use.

So overall, things are going well.  With the exception of not being able to attend my brother's wedding in Florida and not being able to go to Virginia for the yearly family reunion.  Missing Albert's wedding was hard - I waited 52 years for that.  But thanks to my sister and cousin, Maria and Shocky, we Skyped ALOT and I was kept in the loop.

Thank you again for all your comments and private messages - that is what truly brightens my day!!

Cycle 4 May Be On Hold

Throughout my journey, I have had one constant - my insurance company.  Medical Mutual of Ohio has been superb in paying all my medical bills with no hassles.  Well, my luck has run out on that one.

Friday is my next chemotherapy appointment and yesterday the doctor's office called me. Apparently, all of a sudden, one of the chemo drugs, Alimta (Pemextred) is now on a prior authorization list.  Meaning, I can't have the treatment(s) until it is approved.  The doctors office, myself and a rep from Med Mutual spent 2 hours on the phone trying to determine why this happened now, and why 2 days before my treatment.  We never came up with an answer.  But we did start the process so hopefully sometime today this will be approved. I kept asking how can you do this mid-way?  I would understand if it was before my first treatment, but my 4th?? Oh well, whatever it is - it is.  Just so we can get it fixed today :)

Actually, the approval may not be a problem because my bloodwork may prevent the treatment this week.  My White Blood Count has slowly dropped and last week was right at the cut-off for allowing treatment - when I go tomorrow, they will draw blood to check if I am able to get the treatment - asking for prayers to make sure all goes well and I can proceed with no interruptions.

This week has been a roller coaster of side-effects, too.  Usually by week 3, I feel good but this week I have had quite a bit of an upset stomach.  I also noticed that while I am not losing anymore hair, it is not growing.  So I am lucky that I didn't go totally bald.  Buzzing my hair down to 1/4 inch hides the bare spots and in 9 weeks since having it done, my hair is still the same length.  Not complaining here since many people have it worse.... just finding it weird that it stopped growing without completely falling out.

And now to enjoy my favorite time of year - I am not a summer heat person, so the first week of cooler temps brings me joy.  Starting today, NE Ohio will be in the 60's for a week - I'm loving it.  Nothing better than a cool, clear fall day with a cup of coffee while completing my needlework - that my relaxation!

Cycle 3 Update

Last Friday I completed Cycle 3 of my 4.  Today was an appointment at the University Hospitals Seidman Cancer Clinic to discuss my future.  I had my blood work done today as well (which I have done every Friday).

I learned quite a bit at today's appointment.  Honestly, I think some of it, I had been told before but it didn't sink in and much of it was new.  So here is the info.....

• I will have a total of 4 cycles of chemotherapy.  September 12th will, technically, be my last round.  From my surgical pathology, it was determined the exact gene that my cancer is. Based on this, research and clinical trials, determine what happens next.  Research has shown that 4 cycles is enough IF the cancer hasn't spread.  The gene that they test for, a mutant gene, is NOT in my cancer.  That means that maintenance chemotherapy is really not productive until my cancer has gone somewhere else in my body.  
• Approximately one month after my last chemotherapy, I will go for a CAT Scan and PET Scan to see if (and where) the cancer has gone.  I will also have extensive blood work to look for markers that may determine if there are cancer cells within my body that the scans can't pick up.

So, basically, a final determination of what my future treatment is until October.  The doctor explained the effects of Chemotherapy are not worth continuing with my type of cancer(s) unless it shows it is progressing.  Therefore, I will have to have scans approximately every three months even if I appear to be cancer free.

The doctor was quite honest with me - he told me, while the surgeon did remove all my tumors, the reality is that it went into my lymph nodes and that means it is within my body somewhere.  It is not a question of if it re-appears but when.  

Since February, I can't think of a time when I felt well...or like myself.  First the infections and antibiotics, then the surgery and recuperation from that, then the chemotherapy and all its side-effects.  

While I'm dreading October for fear of bad news, I am also looking forward to it thinking the chemotherapy side effects will be gone and maybe for the first time in 9 months, I'll feel like my old self.  Reading this post, I think I sound a bit negative but I am truly looking forward to a time when treatments and side-effects are not a part of my daily routine.

One last thing that was decided today is that I no longer have to have weekly bloodwork.  Since my levels have been within normal ranges for the first 3 cycles, I can stop and only have it done once a month - YAY!!

It's Been A While...

I just realized it has been 11 days since I blogged anything.  I suppose that is a good thing because nothing major has really happened.  

Just the usual:

• Still having trouble sleeping
• Queasy stomach everyday - doesn't seem to go away between Chemotherapy Treatments

The great news is my bloodwork has been in the "low" of normal range consistently.  This is a great accomplishment as it is normal to have to miss treatments due to abnormally low blood counts - counting my blessings here.

My fatigue and sleeping is still an issue.  Either I am up all night until daylight, very jittery, or I fall asleep and wake up 3-4 hours later, again unable to fall asleep.  Today, the doctor prescribed a sleeping pill.  Hopefully this will help.  I do nap during the day because of fatigue from the medications and thought this was the reason I have trouble at night, but even when I force myself to stay awake, I still have trouble at night - and then feel worse the next day.

Today's Chemotherapy went as planned.  I noticed that I was having stomach issues within an hour of leaving and was exhausted sleepy by the time I got home.  I took my nausea medication and slept for 2 hours.  I know they say the side effects can take time to get slightly worse and worse and I am praying this is not an indication of what this cycle will hold. 

My Chemotherapy Support Group For Today - Maria and Pam

My excitement for the weekend starts with getting my new eye glasses on Saturday.  I can't wait - my vision has changed so much since taking these multitude of medications and treatments. And then, I am planning on taking a drive Sunday to visit my son, 2 hours away.  This is terrifying because in the past weeks, driving for more than a 1/2 hour causes me issues.  So wish me luck Sunday.  My sweet grandson will be with me so hopefully he will keep me on my toes.

Beautiful Lung Cancer Bracelets being worn by - Me, Caitlyn, Maria and Pam

Above is a picture of the Lung Cancer Bracelets I have to support my journey.  At this point, Caitlyn, Maria, Pam and myself are wearing them.  If you are interested in helping support my journey, just let me know.

And the best news - August 26 - right around the corner - POOTIE is coming home to stay!!! Can't wait to see my baby boy <3

Chemotherapy Round 2 - Done! (**Updated)

Round 2 - Done.  All my blood work was within normal ranges so I was able to take the treatment.  Well, the one exception was that my Platelets were high - but that is not so bad.

My baby daughter, Maria, went with me.  Pootie called from Colorado during the treatment.  It's great to have "them both there."  Maria even went and got us Subway for lunch :)

My Chemotherapy Partner for today <3

The morning/afternoon ended with Maria discovering I have 2 bald spots that have started - and she even was KIND enough to take Snapchat pictures to send to people.  What a kind soul she is :)

My hair has never been this thin - and there are several actual bald "patches" across the back. So far I can spike it to hide it but I don't think I'll get past a few more days of this.  

Then Maria decided to be a great daughter - She cooked dinner for her momma - chops marinated in olive oil, garlic, mint and onions - then seared with peppers and onions - served with Mac n' cheese!!

I expect the next 7-10 days to be on the rough end of the scale mostly due to fatigue - I tended to sleep alot the first week after the first treatment - 16-18 hours per day.  So I hope to update soon.  I may pop in and say Good Morning and Good Night at about 6:00 p.m.

Thanks for your continued love and support!!

So Blessed For My Chemo Angel

This week has been progressing along slowly.  While I started out the weekend, feeling quite good, just a bit tired.  Mid week has been a bit different.  I'm sleeping much more, and sick to my stomach throughout the day.  Anti-nausea medications and Ginger Ale help - so that keeps me going.  No hair loss yet - but I know that is coming.  

There is a bright moment to my days - Right after I received my diagnosis, I started receiving emails, phone calls and snail-mail from people I never heard of - amazing, right?  Well, I have a few women that call themselves my "Chemo Angels."  I do not know them, have never spoken to them, and they send me cards and gifts several times a week from across the country.  

What amazes me the most is they don't even put their return address on anything so I can't even thank them.  Here is a look at today's delivery....

(2) Satin Pillow Cases and a Cap to help with baldness

(2) Types of tea to help with nausea

Words of Help by a nurse

Mouth products to help with mouth sores that are common when getting chemotherapy

And, a special journal

I really cannot get over how communities across the nation support people they've never met.  If we all did one thing like that for someone close to us each day, imagine how many happy smiling faces these would be :)

Twas The Night Before Chemo

Twas the night before my first chemo treatment, and there’s a part of me that’s happy.  Happy for a fighting chance.  And thankful.  

Thankful for going to the doctor in February.  Thankful for a persistent Dr. Persaud, my Infectious Disease Doctor AND Dr. Ricaurte, my Pulmonary Doctor, both of whom questioned why my lymph nodes were still getting larger while on massive IV antiobics.  Thankful that they sent me to the best surgeon who made the best choices with my diagnosis and for my surgery.

But the news after the surgery was not as great as we wanted.  There’s the elephant in the room and the other foot is just waiting to drop.  So I held on to anything that would take me back to when what I had could be cured. But, that is not to be.  Two tumors, one in each lobe, and 2 lymph nodes - there's the elephant again - with lymph node involvement there is no cure.

There is always hope that treatment won't allow any remaining cells to grow - hope that treatment will not make me violently ill - hope that I can enjoy the blessings that surround me - that there will be an end to this disease - that you won't take life for granted.

I hold onto every prayer that is sent my way.   And  I don’t let yourself think about what may be ahead.  One day at a time.  For tomorrow…it’s chemo day 1. 

Preparations For Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy!  It's not a word I wanted to hear and certainly not something I want to go through. But, for those of us with cancer, we often don't have a choice.  

I remember how terrified I was when Mom started her Chemo back in 1980 - it certainly has changed.  But there are still so many of the same questions.  Will I be sick? Will I have a reaction to the medication? Would I be in a room by myself or with other chemo patients? Will I lose my hair and for how long?  Will I have blood level issues?

When I was told I have cancer and have to go through Chemotherapy, it didn't really sink in.  On Tuesday, June 24, I had my first meeting with my oncologist at the cancer center and let me just say - IT IS REAL NOW!!  He laid it on the line, bluntly, honestly and professionally.  Then his nurse planned out my next 3 weeks in preparation for my first cycle on July 11th.  From consults to injections to  classes - they coordinate everything for you.

Over my lifetime I have experience through myself or family members MANY types of illnesses but none of them prepare you for what lies ahead like cancer treatments.  Cancer SUCKS but so far the kindness and compassion of the medical professionals really help to calm my fears.  There is almost the sense that all these other people "have cancer with you."  That is hard to explain, but they really involve themselves in every appointment, decision and task at hand to make it easier for me.

Wednesday was a Chemo Class, Thursday was a Wig Fitting and today is a Radiation Oncologist Consult.  All of this is in preparation for what is to come.  So many people on my team!! Next week is bloodwork, B12 injections, and more testing.  The following week is surgery to place my MediPort in my chest - then the big day - July 11th we begin chemo.

And finally, as I really do not see myself as a wig type person, I did go get one last night.  It is recommended you get it while you still have your own hair - so I did.  I really think I will be in scarves and turbans more than anything but at least if I have to go out I will be prepared.  

That being said - this is NOT the wig I picked - Blondes may have more fun but I am not a blonde LOL.  We decided to have fun with the experience.  I tried on my natural hair color, blondes, even totally gray hair.

Oh boy!!

One of the biggest adjustments is still mentally - I still can't totally realize I no longer work and never will again.  My Social Security Disability Retirement was approved in May and will take effect September 1, 2014.  I still find myself at night thinking "OMG, you're still awake and you have to get up early" while the truth is... my sleeping habits have drastically changed - I am up late (really late) and I sleep until 10 or 11am (on and off like napping).  

Physically it is all coming together.  The pain is much better now that the chest tube is out but overall there is still pain from the incision and surgery in general.  And of course, I get out of breath VERY easy.  The one thing I miss the most is cooking.  I try to cook quick little things and cannot get over how exhausting it is.  Time. That will heal all and hopefully I will be cooking again very soon :)