Fear - always
These are all words that can describe my past 2 - 1/2 years. But as of today. JOY. YES, JOY!! That is the only way I can describe my feelings. It has actually been that long. Dozens of chemotherapy appointments, 35 radiation treatments. 18 Opdivo treatments so far - AND IT IS FINALLY WORKING. To see an x-ray report that repeatedly says "stable" within the description of all the tumors is a remarkable feeling.
To be honest, I never in a million years thought I would make it this far. My mother's family (6 siblings) has a history of cancer. They fought it as long as they could, but ultimately, 4 of them died of cancer. I thought cancer would have gotten me by now.
But by the grace of God and the medical breakthroughs, I am still here. My life is considerably different. I am still fighting. I am still going every two weeks for treatments. I still have side effects (nothing compared to chemo, but still...) and I continue to love. I have too much to look forward to so I can't let the 'C' word get the best of me.
Doing the happy dance. Enjoying life. Loving my family. Taking exercise classes to "get stronger" to continue to fight the beast!!